There is not a single couple on this earth that can claim to have never once had a fight, if they have I’ll tell you this much…It’s a load of s@#t! Whether it is a major issue or the result of other underlying stresses in your daily lives, fighting is not uncommon, nor is it the end of the world. The one thing men need to learn, though, is how to fight. No derogatory comments, no tantrums, and no spite just words and the constant reminder that she is the girl that you love. There is a way to deal with everything, and if there is one thing I know it is that moving full steam ahead into a state of toxic anger is definitely not the way to deal with it.
One thing every human is taught as a little child is to breathe!! If something she says or does triggers your anger, rather than going into complete hulk-mode, take a few deep breaths and give yourself some time to just think. Whether you go for a run, go to the gym, or drive-thru the nearest McDonalds give yourself some time to re-gather your thoughts and to ask yourself “is this really worth it? (Seriously answer this question! Don’t always say yes because I assure you, half the time it really and truly is the furthest thing from worth it).
When the breathing and reflection is over its time to get talking! As a child I remember being told a million times by all my teachers to use my words. Regardless of how many times I wanted to punch them in the face for repeating this statement it was the best advice I was given. In saying that, I acknowledge completely the difficulty in choosing the right words. Do not use your words to make her feel small, use your words to make her understand how you feel. Yes I understand that using the word ‘feelings’ when talking to males is totally taboo but it has to be done – you’ll thank me later when your fights take a turn for the best.
Another thing to remember is that the individual and the situation must be separated. Name calling will get you nowhere with women, trust me! For example, I know many young females, including myself, who forget to use the filter between their brain and their mouth when they are around their girl friends. If she says something that makes you feel uncomfortable, upset or angry it’s the comment that’s stupid, not her. Catching my drift? Put simply, do not call her names!
Fights will happen, arguments will take place, and there is no doubt in the world that the two you will bicker, but if your approach to situations change, I assure you that she, too, will make a conscience effort to both keep her cool and to be more aware of the things that affect you. Remain calm and always make sure to assess the worthiness of the situation. Don’t waste time being angry. Talk it out, kiss it out and move on. Life is way too short!
